Amanda Grange




Pace is all important

One of the most important aspects of any book is pace. Too fast, and a reader will become confused. Either that, or the book will fail to involve her. Too slow, and she will become bored.

It might help you to think of it like a weekend spent with friends. If they haven't arranged for you to do anything, and they sit you in front of a window to admire the view, you will be bored and think, 'I don't want to come here again.'

If, on the other hand, they have arranged for you to do too much, so that you go to the cinema on Friday evening, and before the film finishes they haul you out because you're due at the theatre, then you miss the start of the play because the traffic is heavy, and miss the end because they want to show you their favourite pub before closing time . . . again your reaction will be, 'I don't want to come here again.'

As a writer, you want your readers to go back to your book and then go on to read others, so you need to get the pacing right. Make sure you give them plenty of incidents to read about, but don't rush from one to the other, and don't squeeze them together so that one doesn't have time to finish before another one begins.

There will always be some variation between one book and another, and between one author and another. Some authors write gentle books, whilst others write fast-paced books, but they will all fall within acceptable norms.

So how do you tell if your book is falling within acceptable norms?

Here are some quick, rule of thumb, ways to find out.



  • Length. If you've finished your book and it's only 25,000 words long, then the pace is too fast (or else you don't have enough plot, see Planning). If, on the other hand, your book is 200,000 words long, then the pace is far too slow. Regency romances are generally between 70,000 and 100,000 words in length.
  • If you get confused when reading your book, then the pace is too fast. If you get bored, then the pace is too slow.
  • If too much happens in a chapter, then the pace is too fast. If not enough happens, then the pace is too slow.

    Here is an example of a too-slow pace

    It was a balmy day in Spring when Melissa set off to the village. She breathed in the warm air and gave a sigh of contentment. It was good to be alive.

    She noticed all the spring flowers coming into bloom. There were snowdrops nodding their heads in the breeze, and daffodils pushing their way through the earth. There were crocuses, gaily dancing in the breeze. Yellow ones, purple ones, all kinds of colours, resplendent against the dark brown earth. The grass beyond them was verdant, washed clean by the rain of the night before, and across the fields she could see sheep, and two cows. There was Farmer Williams's brown and white cow, who had had a bad foot the year before but was now standing up, thanks to the attendance of the horse doctor, Old Frank. Old Frank was a regular sight around the village. He had been born there, and always returned to see if the villagers needed any help with their animals. He and Farmer Williams had played together as boys, so there had always been a strong bond of affection between them. Next to the brown and white cow was the black cow, Daisy, who had chased little Tommy Marks down to the river last year. Tommy was the naughtiest boy in the village, and had deserved to be chased, particularly as he had been trying to jump on Daisy's back, but perhaps he had not deserved to fall in the river and nearly drown. Boys like Tommy really needed to learn to swim.

    She walked down the lane, passing the turning to Sir Graham's house. Sir Graham was the local squire. He had two children, George and John, and his wife was expecting a third child. She dearly hoped it would be a little girl, but Sir Graham wanted another son.


    I could go on, but I won't! In a way, there is nothing wrong with the above. It has full stops in all the right places. It has a light, fluent style. But it doesn't say anything! All it does is drivel on about the flowers, the sheep, the cows, and a whole range of characters who are not at all important. Your reader will be asleep before she gets to the end of it! So if you have any passages like this in your book, cut them out! You need to get on with the story, like this:



    It was a balmy day in Spring when Melissa set off to the village. She breathed in the warm air and gave a sigh of contentment. It was good to be alive.

    She had not gone far, however, when she saw a horseman coming towards her, and to her horror she recognised Lord Levering. She flushed as she remembered the disastrous events of the evening before. She was tempted to turn off the road, but berating herself for cowardice she continued on her way.


    In the second example, the pace is right because something happens.

    There are no hard and fast rules. It would have been perfectly all right to add a little more description to the second example, but not too much. Remember, your reader wants you to tell her a story, and whilst she needs some descriptive passages to set the mood and help her see the scenes, she doesn't want long, involved descriptions that go on for a page or more, nor does she want to learn the life history of everyone who is briefly mentioned in the book.

    Some of the most important elements of pace, then, are

  • Make sure every scene you write has a point to it, ie make sure something happens. The situation at the end of the scene should be different to the situation at the beginning of the scene. Either events should have changed, or the characters' reactions to those events, or to each other, should have changed in some way.
  • Keep the story moving
  • Don't provide a history for every minor character who pops up in the book
  • Don't introduce a minor character by name, unless they are going to have a speaking part in the book, in other words unless they are going to have something important to do or say. If you want to set the scene, it's enough to say, 'The villagers were going about their daily tasks' or, 'A maid was hurrying across the road on an errand for her mistress, whilst a footman was hailing a cab'.

    Here is an example of a passage in which the pace is far too fast

    Melissa set out to walk to the village. On the way, she passed Lord Levering.

    Oh, no! she thought, remembering the events of the night before.

    She hurried past him, arriving in the village, only to find that Captain Withers was already in the inn. What if he had seen her? She hurried out, and climbed into the boat. She must rescue Will.


    Events are happening at such an alarming rate here that it's impossible to tell what's going on. First of all Melissa is on the road, then she's in the village, then she's miraculously in the inn (without ever having entered it) and suddenly she's in a boat. Where on earth was the boat?

    The pace needs slowing right down, so that everything can be properly explained, like this:

    It was a balmy day in Spring when Melissa set off to the village. She breathed in the warm air and gave a sigh of contentment. It was good to be alive.

    She had not gone far, however, when she saw a horseman coming towards her, and to her horror she recognised Lord Levering. She flushed as she remembered the disastrous events of the evening before. She was tempted to turn off the road, but berating herself for cowardice she continued on her way.

    As he rode past, he touched his hat.

    She did not dare look at him, but she managed to nod and say, 'Good morning.'

    And then it was over. She breathed a sigh of relief. It had not been so bad, and now that the first meeting was over, she would find it easier to see him a second time. And she would have to see him, because he was engaged to dine with her uncle that evening.

    Putting the disturbing thought out of her mind, she walked on. She had other disturbing things to occupy her, and they were of far more importance than Lord Levering, because she had to rescue Will.

    She thought over her plan. It was daring, but it should work. He was hiding in a cave along the sea shore, safe from Captain Withers and his men, but he could not hide there for ever. He had to get away, and as it was too risky for him to stay in the country, he would have to go to France.

    She hurried on. The village was in front of her, a small collection of houses arranged round the village green. She and Will had played there as children, and had fed the ducks on the pond, but it wasn't the pond that held her attention, it was the inn. It looked peaceful in the sunshine, and no one would guess it was used as a base for smugglers, but the innkeeper had long been sympathetic to the free trade. She knew that if Will had already managed to escape without her help, he would have sent a message to the inn so that she need not risk taking the boat out to sea.

    She wrapped her shawl about her as she went into the old building . . . only to back out again silently as she saw Captain Withers standing there. What if he had seen her? No, she was sure he had not. He had had his back towards her. But if he was here, it meant that she had not much time. Will was in danger. She must get to the boat at once.


    You can see from the above example that events have been fleshed out. I think the pace is still too quick in places. Lord Levering is obviously an important character, and he is dismissed in a line or two. It would be better to extend his appearance, like this:

    She had not gone far, however, when she saw a horseman coming towards her, and to her horror she recognised Lord Levering. She flushed as she remembered the disastrous events of the evening before. She was tempted to turn off the road, but berating herself for cowardice she continued on her way.

    As he rode past, he slowed his horse and touched his hat.

    'Good morning,' he said.

    She was forced to stop and look up at him. She could not read what was going on behind his eyes, and it made her uncomfortable, but she knew she must pretend to be at her ease.

    'Good morning,' she said.

    'I hope I find you well?' he asked.

    He looked at her piercingly as he said it, and she could not help the memories flooding back. He was reminding her of her humiliation, but she was not about to be cowed.

    'Quite well, thank you,' she said. 'I am just going into the village on an errand, and cannot delay.'

    'Then I must not keep you.' He was about to ride on when he said, 'I will be seeing you at your uncle's house?'

    She wished it was avoidable, but it wasn't.

    'Yes,' she said.

    'Good. I will look forward to it.'

    'As I will,' she lied. 'And now I must bid you Good day.'

    And without waiting for a reply, she walked on. She heard his horses' hooves behind her, growing quiter as they receded into the distance, and she breathed a sigh of relief. It had not been so bad, and now that the first meeting was over, she would find it easier to see him a second time, when he dined with her uncle that evening.


    There are no hard and fast rules, of course. Every writer handles things in a different way. But in general, a scene should have a fast enough pace to keep interesting without going by so quickly that the reader feels breathless.


    Too much detail

    If something is happening in your scene but not too much, and yet the pace still seems to drag, then you might be giving too much detail. If you describe people or places, cut out some of the description. Don't describe everyone, stick to describing the most important person, or perhaps the most important two people, in the scene, and do it in one or two lines, not one or two paragraphs. If you describe rooms, content yourself with a brief description rather than trying to paint a complete word picture of it. Remember, there is such a thing as giving too much detail, eg

    Melissa approached the door. It was an old oak door, and it creaked on its hinges as she opened it. She set foot over the threshold and stepped through into the hall. She let go of the door and it swung to behind her. She didn't hear it click, and she turned round to see that it had not closed properly. She pulled it to, making sure it shut.

    If you go into this much detail over every little thing, you will bore your reader.



    Another common problem is trying to fill in time.

    Your plot might call for your hero and heroine to be apart for three weeks, but if you try to write about three weeks worth of activities for your heroine, you will make the pace tedious. Have a section break, then start the next section by saying something like, 'It was three weeks before she saw him again.'

    You can embellish this, eg 'The three weeks passed slowly, but at last they were over,' or, 'She busied herself with her horses over the next three weeks,' but don't spend more than a paragraph or so on it.

    Repetition

    Another common problem with pacing is repetition. If you have set up a scene which shows that your heroine is frightened of men in Chapter One, don't set up further scenes to reveal this in every subesquent chapter. It's all right to refer to it, if it's appropriate to the situation, as long as that scene has another point to it as well, but don't waste time on scenes which will simply tell the reader what she already knows. If you do, you will bore her, because she will think, 'Why did I need to read that? I already know it.'



    Small corrections in pace

    You might find that you have done everything right - each scene has a point to it and everything is properly explained, but the pace still seems rushed.

    If this is the case, you might need to slow it down by adding more descriptive passages, or extending the characters' conversations. For example, if your character walks into a room you can spend two or three lines describing it. Then put in some small actions, interspersed with the dialogue, and add more dialogue.

    Example

    Elizabeth walked into the drawing-room. She stopped in horror.

    'Edward!'

    'As you say.'

    'But you shouldn't be here.'

    'Why not?'

    'Because you said you would never return.'

    'Did I?'

    'Yes.'

    'I changed my mind.'


    If you have this abbreviated style, you will need to slow the pace down:

    Elizabeth entered the drawing-room. The candles were not yet lit, and the only light came from the fire. She was cold, and went to warm her hands at the blaze. She knelt down on the soft carpet. As she did so, she heard a noise. It was indistinct, the sound of someone moving softly in the corner of the room. She turned her head in alarm, and then froze in shock. Emerging from the shadows was a figure she recognised.

    'Edward.' The word came out as a whisper.

    He moved forward until he was standing in front of her.

    'As you say, Edward.'

    She rose to her feet, but she was still forced to look up at him as he was over six feet tall. His brown eyes were warm in the firelight, and his dark hair was touched with gold.

    But . . . you shouldn't be here,' she said.

    'Why not?' he asked. His voice was low and throaty, and sent shivers down her spine.

    'Because you are supposed to be in America. You promised your father you would banish yourself, and you swore you would never return.'

    'Did I?' he asked. It was as though the old oath was a distant memory to him, one he had almost forgotten.

    'Yes, you did.'

    He reached out his hand and cupped her cheek. 'I changed my mind.'




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